Journey to a BFP-4 (dealing with pregnancy announcements)

I hate them..i really do!! I mean im happy for them overall but sad for myself,i mean everyone should have the right to announce there pregnancy and be happy..but for me its kinda like tourture your even more egar then before to get pregnant and month after month the disappointment builds up with no end in sight and all the while your friend or whom ever belly is growing and its just another reminder of your empty uterus.
At some point i wish this process was easier to deal with,but sadly it never is. Ive secretly wanted this child since i was 16 but at that age i knew that it wasnt a good idea because i needed to establish my self first i made a deal with god when i was about 17 that i would get my life together first and allow him to handle everything else...well i have made plenty of mistakes im 21 now but my life is on track not perfect but my head is above water. It seems silly but i think god may have heard my prayer and wont allow me to concieve until he feels im ready...but i feel like im ready..i pray that he has mercy on me bless me with this child.

Today is 10 dpo and ive been having heart burn,strong sense of smell and maybe a little sleepier then usual..i really want to test but im going to try to hold off until jan 1st the day af is due.
No more news about Rj and i were still looking to move but also looking for jobs and they are hard to come by in fort.myers. It would be awesome to get a BFP and move into our new home at the same time.

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